Right when I thought managing 1 child had my hands full, my ovaries struck again and I started getting baby fever. So we tried for a second baby. And -spoiler alert- we succeeded! (YAY!)
Our son was 13 months old when I fell pregnant again. My husband and I were ecstatic as we held that pee stick with positive sign on it, not knowing what a roller coster ride the next few (many) months are going to be.
I was just in a happy daze, constantly playing in my mind montages of me, my husband and our two kids running along merrily into the sunset. This honeymoon period lasted like 1 week before second pregnancy started showing its symptoms.
Ok , so month 1 goes by fast because thats basically when you figure out you are BOOM pregnant. And then the next two months are when the real challenge begins.
I had terrible nausea. Whoever named it morning nausea NEEDS to give a public apology to all women who have been or are pregnant. Why? Because it lasts the whole frigging day! On and off… I could barely stomach meals. Thankfully i did not have any vomiting but the nausea was so bad. As though i was constantly on a cruise- except i was not! I was stranded on an island with a tiny human who I am 100% responsible for ( Did i mention that this was during COVID times?).
And the fatigue – oh god. I would lie on the floor like a passed out starfish while my toddler was hovering around me. Fortunately I had my mother to help me during this period but he was still super attached to me at this point so anytime i was like drugged out (not with actual drugs….more like pregnancy hormones), he would run over and tug at me till I got up. My heart wanted to so badly cherish this alone time with my toddler before baby no. 2 arrives but my body was craving bedrest. It was a tough time not only on my body but also on my mind as i had to fight the mom guilt whenever I was not able to spend time with my son due to my health.
I was awaiting the second trimester so badly. And it did come and I was well into my second trimester before realizing… erm… the nausea was here to stay T.T For my first, the nausea went off around 15 weeks but this time, no such luck. But my appetite was better – a bit too good actually (I gained the most weight at this time).
I was also waiting for my energy level to go up and it never did. In fact, my energy levels were dipping and I was feeling faint as well. I was like – “What gives??! I already did my time of 2 months in a passed out state. Surely second trimester is when you are feeling good about yourself right? RIGHT??”. Wrong. Turns out I had low iron levels and I was given iron tablets. My energy levels were back in about a week or so after i started taking them. But those weeks of iron-depleted me were hell. Especially with a toddler who needs constant attention , it was the deepest pit of hell.
My stomach was also starting to grow. In fact it was already much bigger than it was for first baby since this is my second time.I was strictly told by my family not to carry my son. This was another thing to add to my mom-guilt list.
Second trimester went by faster than expected and to balance things out, third trimester draggeeedddd….I was so huge at this point of time. Every part of my body was aching and I was practically begging my husband for a leg or shoulder massage every night.
My toddler usually plays on the floor so having to sit on the floor and get up as multiple times that he did – to run after him was another olympic-level challenge for me. I would practically beg him to sit in one place. I felt like a beached- out whale and just wanted this to be over. No part of me was enjoying this pregnancy – with a toddler – in a pandemic – stuck at home. Once or twice a week, we would go out with my toddler to places we deemed as not crowded and safe. The rest of the week mostly we were at home and occasionally to the playgrounds nearby.
Mentally i think i was losing it. 1. The stress of not being able to take care of my son the way I want to because I am the size of Texas and had the energy level of a pea. 2. Not being able to keep up with my sons growing energy levels 3. Being closed off from most of society and being stuck at home due to the pandemic 4. Pregnancy hormones. All of this makes a disgusting combination of one hell of a hot mess which was me. except i wasn’t even hot.
I was just waiting to deliver at this point of time and calculating days and weeks. I would cry looking at the calendar and seeing there were so many days left. Tough times… but somehow I made it. If you are a mother to a toddler and pregnant right now – respect! I had to find things to keep me from going totally batshit crazy and will share those things in another article. Just know that you are not alone in this battle, mama!